breenwolf:

when you’re so thirsty for new fic of your OTP that you can physically feel your standards dropping

(via channelmodern)

  • high school teacher: yeah i have a 4 year degree so you can call me Mr. Whatshisname and if you call me Frank that's disrespectful I'll give you detention for a week
  • college professor: hi i've got my Ph.D., i spent 10 years doing research, i have 7 patents and 26 published papers, and i was nationally recognized for my work. but you can call me Kim if you want.

averagefairy:

what even is the 50 shades movie gonna be just like a theatre full of 40 yr old women eating popcorn and gasping and clutching their chests throughout 2 hours of softcore porn???????? please no

(via superbras)

pemsylvania:

my mom invited me to a party at our house on facebook and i replied in the invite and said “sorry i dont think ill be able to make it im staying home with my family this weekend” and i can hear her laughing downstairs

(via dat-soldier)